Cast: Eddie Bracken, Betty Hutton, Diana Lynn, William Demarest, Brian Donlevy
Credits: Director, Writer, Producer: Preston Sturges; Paramount; 1944
America’s obsession with good girls and wartime romances is delightfully skewered in this Preston Sturges comedy that reaches its happy (if incredibly unbelievable) conclusion during the Christmas season.
Betty Hutton stars as Trudy Kockenlocker, a fun-loving small-town girl who lives for military dances. There’s just something about a man in uniform. Eddie Bracken is Norval Jones, the love-sick bank clerk who adores the feisty Trudy, but his love is unrequited.
Trudy’s grouchy father forbids her from attending a military dance, but Trudy manages to convince Norval to pick her up for a date. She pleads, whines and cries until he agrees to go sit through three movies himself (and lend her his car) while she parties the night away with handsome young soldiers. Unfortunately, Trudy gets snockered and winds up married to someone shipping out. The only thing she can remember is his name sounds like Ratzywatski. I wonder how many soldiers got a little action when they used the old “I’m shipping out and could be dead tomorrow” routine? Well, Trudy falls for it hook, line and sinker. At eight the next morning, Trudy, still a little drunk, finally picks up Norval outside the theater where he spent the night. Norval barely manages to escape strangulation at the hands of Mr. Kockenlocker when he takes Trudy home.
Trudy tells the whole story to her sister Emmy (Diana Lynn), who is amazed anyone could have been so dumb. Emmy is one mature 14-year-old. Trudy didn’t even give her real name when they were married so they have no way to find out if it was legal.
Things are bad but get much worse when Trudy pays a visit to the family doctor. It seems the first time really was a charm. Trudy and Emmy decide she must get married and the most likely candidate is, of course, Norval. He proposes (with a lot of prompting from Trudy) but Norval is so happy that Trudy begins crying and confesses. Norval wants Trudy even more than he wants to be a soldier (he can’t get in because of his eyesight) and agrees to a hackneyed plan to make her legitimately Mrs. Ratzywatski. The frightened couple sneak away to be married, he impersonating a soldier so Trudy can protect her reputation. Unfortunately Norval isn’t the brightest bulb in the pack and can only find a World War I uniform. The Justice of the Peace smells a rat and calls the police. Trudy is disgraced and Norval is locked up for corrupting the morals of a minor. Trudy, who now realizes she loves Norval, tells all to her father (William Demarest), the town law-enforcer guarding Norval. He allows Trudy and Emmy to conk him on the head enabling Norval to escape. Norval pays a visit to the bank to get his money and declares he won’t return until he finds Ratzywatski.
It is now Christmas. Mr. Kockenlocker has been discharged from his policeman’s job, the Kockenlocker house is up for sale and the family has quietly moved to the country hoping to keep the whole thing hushed up.
A discouraged Norval returns to town only to find the Kockenlocker house abandoned. He visits his former landlord, the town lawyer, to find out what happened, but is encouraged to turn himself into the authorities. Norval is surprised to learn the charges against him are now legion and include bank robbery and impersonating an officer. He visits a friend of the Kockenlockers who is going to see them that evening. Unfortunately, Norval is spotted by the still angry bank manager who immediately has poor old Norval locked up.
At the Kockenlocker’s farm Emmy plays carols on an organ while Trudy sits before a fire. Their father trims a Christmas tree and tries to improve Trudy’s spirits. She is distraught to learn Norval has been arrested and vows to go back to town the next day and tell the whole story. Her father and Emmy try to talk her out of it. After all, they have spent the last six months trying to cover it up. But she is adamant.
The town council is having a meeting trying to decide the fate of poor Norval, the banker insisting the book be thrown at him, when Mr. Kockenlocker angrily interrupts and tells them that Trudy wants to speak to them. He tells them she is not feeling too well and they have to come down to the car. The men all exchange knowing looks and raised eyebrows. But Emmy runs in yelling for her father-Trudy is having the baby. Everyone rushes to the hospital. Emmy and Mr. Kockenlocker anxiously wait as nurses rush back and forth. Fingers are held up in excitement. One, two, three-more rushing around by nurses, four-doctors are running through the halls yelling, “yippee!” Five, six! All boys.
A miracle has occurred. Newspaper headlines scream, “Platoon born in Midwest!”, “Mussolini resigns,” etc. Hitler is enraged. The governor becomes involved in this amazing story circling the globe. He hears the entire story and orders things be made right for Trudy and Norval. The first marriage is annulled, the second marriage to Norval is confirmed and Norval is given an honorary military position and fancy uniform. A Christmas wreath hangs on the hospital door as a very confused Norval is ushered in to see Trudy. Norval tells her they are really married and he is going to be the papa. When Trudy asks if it was a boy or girl, Norval looks at Emmy questioningly. She crooks her finger and leads him to the nursery where he makes goo-goo faces at the babies before asking, “Which one?” “All of them,” Emmy replies. Norval, never one to hold up under stress, panics and runs screaming into Trudy’s room before fainting.
The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek takes a humorous though poignant look at the length girls in small-town America had to go to trying to protect their reputations. Any slip could ruin families, careers and lives. Happily, Trudy’s father accepted the inevitable and took care of Trudy while Norval remained true to her.
Although people are at their most forgiving during Christmas, there was no forgiveness for Trudy and Norval until the birth of the babies brought fame and fortune to Morgan’s Creek.
Betty Hutton was usually a ball of energy, often almost overwhelming audiences with her presence. She toned down her performance in this role to good advantage, especially in the Christmas scenes. Her most famous roles would be Annie Oakley in Annie Get Your Gun and Pearl White in The Perils of Pauline.
Eddie Bracken was an up-and-coming comic who would do his most successful film work with scripter Preston Sturges in The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek and Hail the Conquering Hero (1944). He wemt on to appear in light comedy and musicals including Summer Stock as the fiancé of Judy Garland. Bracken made an appearance in 1983’s National Lampoon’s Vacation as the owner of Walley World.
Preston Sturges turned his sharp pen to Hollywood, writing and directing some of its best product including Hail the Conquering Hero, The Palm Beach Story and Unfaithfully Yours. He was nominated for the Academy Award for screenwriting The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek and Hail the Conquering Hero.
Christmas for the Kockenlockers in Morgan’s Creek reminds us how sad the holiday can be for some people, but it also reminds us how wonderful it can be if you are lucky enough to have the love and support of friends and family.
A Miracle on Main Street
Cast: Lyle Talbot, Walter Abel, Jane Darwell, Margo, Veda Ann Borg
Credits: Producer: Jack H. Skirball; Director: Steve Sekely; Writer: Frederick Jackson (Based on a Story by Samuel Ornitz and Boris Ingster); Columbia; 1940
This film was unavailable for viewing so we are relying on other sources for the brief description. A dancer finds an abandoned baby during Christmas in Los Angeles.
Miracle on 34th Street
1947: Cast: Maureen O’Hara, Natalie Wood, Edmund Gwenn, John Payne
Credits: Producer: William Perlberg; Director/Writer: George Seaton (Based on a Story by Valentine Davies); Fox; 1947
One of the classic Christmas movies of all time, Miracle on 34th Street is one of the first movies to address the commercialism of Christmas, having been made a few years after the end of World War II, with Americans free to spend their hard-earned dollars without the fear of rationing or guilt. The theme of trying to value intangibles in a very materialistic, realistic world was a theme very important back in 1947, and it continues to be a major theme today.
The story is simple and familiar. An old man who resembles Santa Claus and calls himself Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn) is outraged when he sees the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Santa drunk and reports the singing/snoozing Santa to “the person in charge,” Doris Walker (Maureen O’Hara). Kris is hired to replace the unconscious Santa, and he attracts hordes of kids to the store. Mr. Shellhammer (Philip Tonge), the toy department manager, tells Kris to always push the names of overstocked toys to children who do not know what they want for Christmas, but Kris, always thinking of the children, tears up the list. He even goes further and tells children and their parents to purchase toys at other department stores, including Gimbel’s, Macy’s chief competitor. However, parents flood Mr. Shellhammer’s office congratulating him and the store “for this wonderful new stunt you’re pulling. Imagine sending people to other stores. Imagine a big outfit like Macy’s putting the spirit of Christmas ahead of the commercial.” 
Interestingly enough, Mr. Macy himself applauds this sales strategy and stresses it must continue.
In the meantime, Doris Walker, divorced and bitter that her Prince Charming broke her heart, becomes a realist and teaches this philosophy to young daughter Susan (Natalie Wood); thus, Susan does not believe in giants, fairy tales or Santa Claus. Apartment neighbor and lawyer Fred Gailey befriends Susan to meet her mother, but finds it very sad that the young child is unable to exercise her fantasy life. Even though Fred is a lawyer, he chooses to defend the underdogs-the only “fun” part of law. He seems to truly relish imagination and keeping the little boy alive inside the man.
Soon, Kris befriends a young sweeper at work, a 17-year-old boy, Albert (Alvin Greenman), who takes delight in dressing up as Santa Claus at his local “Y” for the kids in the neighborhood. However, the second-rate store psychiatrist, Mr. Sawyer (Porter Hall), a man hired to give psychological tests to employees, tries to convince the boy that his need to become Santa Claus is a “guilt complex” that results from having done bad things as a child. Kris is outraged that such a good-hearted person can be made to doubt his good intentions, and decides to report such unprofessional consultations to Mr. Macy himself; but before Kris can see the boss, Sawyer has Kris carted off to Bellevue Hospital, where he is committed.
Gailey comes to Kringle’s defense, requesting a formal sanity hearing before politically motivated (and running for re-election) Judge Henry X. Harper (Gene Lockhart). Gailey’s goal is to convince the Judge that indeed Santa Claus does actually exist and that one Mr. Kris Kringle is, in fact, the actual Santa Claus. The Post Office, hearing of the trial on the front page of the newspaper, feels this would be the perfect opportunity to deliver the 50,000 pieces of mail being stored in the Dead Letter Office to Kris Kringle at the courthouse. Gailey uses the fact that the U.S. Post Office, a branch of the federal government, recognizes Mr. Kris Kringle as Santa Claus, and it is a federal crime to misdirect or intentionally mis-deliver mail. Thus, the government recognizes this man as the actual Santa Claus. Case dismissed.
Finally being won over by Kringle’s charm, Doris Walker and daughter Susan both send him a letter of support admitting their belief that Kris is actually Santa Claus. However, come Christmas morning Susan is disappointed and disillusioned that Kris has not delivered her dreamed-for present, a full-size house of which she gave Kris a picture. Gailey and mom, asking Susan to keep faith even if she doesn’t get what she wants, are given directions from Kris on how to drive home to avoid traffic. As fate would have it, Susan cries out to Gailey to stop when she sees her dream house with a “For Sale” sign in front of it. Rushing inside, she runs upstairs, finds her room exactly as she dreamed it would be, spots the swing on the tree out back, and declares that Mr. Kringle is indeed Santa Claus. When Fred discovers that Doris told Susan to have faith in Kringle, he kisses her and suggests they purchase the house: a hidden marriage proposal. Both are stopped dead in their tracks when they see Kringle’s cane leaning against the wall of the living room.Miracle on 34th Street attempts to create Christmas magic in the real world of 1947 America, and not just anywhere U.S.A., but cold and aloof New York City, the center of evil commercialism with its rivalry between all the major department stores. The film attempts to further three major ideas: 1) Imagination and fantasy and faith are vital elements in everyone’s life, 2) insanity is not so easily defined, and 3) kindness and good will toward man can be compatible with the harsh realities of modern life.
The first theme-Imagination and fantasy and faith are vital elements in everyone’s lives-can be illustrated by the triangle relationship existing between the bitter Doris Walker, her daughter Susan and new, intended boyfriend Fred Gailey. Walker, returning home from coordinating the Macy’s Parade, finds her daughter sitting in Gailey’s apartment, watching the parade. Gailey says to Susan, as one balloon approaches, “He’s certainly a giant.” To which Susan matter-of-factly responds, “There are no giants, Mr. Gailey!” Gailey compromises his position by stating, “Maybe not now, Suzie, but in olden days.” But Susan shakes her all-knowing head-no. When Gailey mentions that old fairy tale“Jack and the Beanstalk,” Susan asks “Jack-Jack who... I never heard of that.” She then announces she doesn’t know any fairy tales. “My mother thinks they’re silly,” Susan explains. She doesn’t know what her father thinks because her mother was divorced when she was only an infant. Using Susan as bait, when Doris finally arrives, Gailey has the child pester her mother to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner. But first Fred comments, “I see she doesn’t believe in Santa Claus either. No Santa Claus, no fairy tales, no fantasies of any kind, is that it?” To which Doris responds, “That’s right. I believe we should be realistic and completely truthful with our children and not having them growing up believing in a lot of legends and myths...” However, Doris does relent and invites Gailey to dinner.
Later in the movie, Gailey quits his law firm to defend Kris Kringle in court; the impracticality of such a move is disturbing to Doris. “You don’t have faith in me! Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to... it’s not Kris who’s on trial, but everything he stands for-kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles.” Towhich Doris responds, “Those lovely intangibles of yours are attractive but not worth very much. You don’t get ahead that way!” But Gailey, firmly believing in his actions passionately, tells her, “Some day, Doris, you’ll find your way of facing this realistic world just doesn’t work, and when you do, don’t overlook those intangibles. You’ll discover they are the only things that are worthwhile.” It is only when Doris delivers this same message to daughter Susan that Gailey realizes that Doris has come over to his way of thinking, leading to the marriage proposal and house-buying suggestion.
The second theme-insanity is not so easily defined-is revealed in the raging wars between the two doctors: Dr. Pierce (James Seay) of the Brooks Memorial Home for the Aged and Mr. Sawyer of Macy’s. Sawyer (even though Kringle passed his mental exam with flying colors, having memorized it from the countless times already taken) believes Kringle will become violent when his delusion of being Santa Claus is challenged. But this is the conclusion from a man that Kringle noticed appears nervous, jitteryand bites his fingernails. Dr. Pierce from the Home calmly disagrees: “People are only institutionalized to prevent them from hurting themselves or other people. Mr. Kringle is incapable of either. He has a delusion for good.” But the doctor does suggest that the commute from Brooks Home might be too far for Kris to make every day, that it might be better if Kris roomed with one of the Macy’s employees so he could be brought back and forth to work every day during the holiday season. Of course Gailey invites him to share his room, suggesting that Doris could drive him to work every day. The point is this: Even if Kris is delusional, he is always kind and helpful and does the right thing for people. Sometimes though, Kris does doubt his sanity. “Then there’s Mr. Sawyer. He’s contemptible, dishonest, selfish, deceitful, vicious-yet he’s out there, and I’m in here (committed to Bellevue). He’s called normal and I’m not. If that’s normal, I don’t want it!”
While Gailey is unable to convince little Susan of the merits of fairy tales, Kris is better able to connect with the child. He asks Susan what types of games she plays with the other children in the apartment building? She responds, “I don’t play much with them. They play silly games... like today... all of them were playing animals. I told them I wasn’t an animal, but a little girl.” Of course, Kris says it sounds like a wonderful game to him. But, in order to play, Kris warns, “you got to have an imagination.” Kris asks Susan if she knows what an imagination is. She says, “When you see things and they’re not really there.” Then Kris, in his vivid style, explains the imagination. “To me the imagination is a place all by itself. A separate country. Now, you heard of the French nation, the British nation. Well, this is the imagination; it’s a wonderful place.” Before long, Kris tells her next time the game is played, that she should become a monkey, and he teaches her how to pretend to be one. Insanity, delusion, imagination are all concepts that become blurred and difficult to define in this movie. The line that bests sums up this concept appears right after Doris tells Mr. Shellhammer that she fired Kris Kringle because “he’s crazy; he thinks he is Santa Claus.” Mr. Shellhammer responds, “But maybe he’s only a little crazy... like painters or composers or some of those men inWashington.”
The third theme-kindness and good will toward man can be compatible with the harsh realities of modern life-becomes evident as Kris demonstrates thinking of children first, rather than thinking of commercialism, as he has been instructed by Mr. Shellhammer. “Imagine making a child think something it doesn’t want, just because he bought too many of the same toys. That’s exactly what I’ve been fighting against for years, the way they commercialize Christmas!”
When Kris asks little Peter what he wants for Christmas, he answers, very specifically, a fire engine. Mom, a few feet back, tries to tip off Santa that nobody, including Macy’s, sells such a toy. To which Kris responds, “Well, Peter, you’ll get your fire engine!” Mom pushes Peter ahead to “thank” Santa herself. “Macy’s don’t got any,” she pouts. However, Kris immediately checks his notes and tells her the name of the store that carries such a toy for $8.50. “The only important thing is to make the childrenhappy.” Peter’s mom is only the first of many mothers who personally visit Mr. Shellhammer to thank Macy’s for having such a friendly policy in their store. Peter’s mother states she has never been a regular customer at Macy’s before, but because of the new policy, she will be one now.
When word of this new “promotion” makes its way to Mr. Macy (Harry Antrim), the owner is delighted. “I want every sales person in this store to do precisely the same thing. If we haven’t exactly what the customer wants, we’ll send them where they can get it... We’ll be known as the store with a heart, the store that places public service ahead of profit. Consequently, we’ll make more profit that ever before!”Albert, the sweeper who enjoys dressing as Santa for his YMCA is asked by Kris, “do you enjoy impersonating me?” He responds, “Oh yeah, I don’t know, when I give the packages to the little kids, I like to watch their faces get that Christmas look all of a sudden. It makes me feel kinda good and important.” Bemoaning the commercialization of the holiday, Albert gripes, “Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn, it’s the same thing. Don’t care for what Christmas stands for-just make a buck!”
Symbolically, this theme is driven home by one brief sequence where both rivals, Mr. Gimbel and Mr. Macy, pose with Kris Kringle between them for a publicity photo shoot. Gimbel, realizing that he would appear to be the Christmas ogre, states, “This is the greatest good will policy I ever heard of... From now on, if we haven’t got what the customer wants, send him back to Macy’s.” During the good will photo shoot, Mr. Macy hands Kris a check and asks what he intends to do with the money. Kris wishes to buy a new X-ray machine for his dear friend Dr. Pierce, but Macy admits the check won’t cover the cost. Gimbel immediately chimes in, “I’ll make up the difference.” Macy then counters by offering Kris a 10 percentdiscount if he purchases the machine through Macy’s. Gimbel strikes back with, “I’ll sell it at cost!” All three then break out into chuckles and laughter as they shake hands and pose for the photographers. The world of commerce and good intentions/good will toward all men has symbolically come together.
Just as Dickens did a century earlier, screenplay writer/director George Seaton brought humanity and the spirit of Christmas to a compassionless urban center that was more concerned with making money than caring about people. In a wonderful speech delivered by Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle, such sentiment is aptly summed up: “For the past 50 years or so, I was getting more and more worried about Christmas. Seems we’re all so busy in beating the other fellow in making things go faster and look shinier and cost less. Christmas and I are being lost in the shuffle... Christmas is not just a day, it’s a frame of mind, and that’s what’s been changing. You two [Doris and Susan] are a test case for me. If I can win you over, there’s still hope. If not, then I guess I’m through.”Luckily for all of us, Kris Kringle is far from being through.
Miracle on 34th Street
Cast: Richard Attenborough, Mara Wilson, Elizabeth Perkins, Dylan McDermott
Credits: Producer: John Hughes; Director: Les Mayfield; Writer: John Hughes (Based on the Screenplay by George Seaton from a Story by Valentine Davies); Fox; 1994
Though it was neither critically loved nor broke the box-office coffers, the remake of Miracle on 34th Street, produced by John Hughes (who adapted the original George Seaton screenplay) and directed by Les Mayfield, shines in its own delightful way, once again bringing a tear to even the most jaded hearts.First, to get the basics out of the way, Richard Attenborough’s portrayal of Kriss (here an “s” is added) Kringle is nowhere near as classic as Edmund Gwenn’s, and Elizabeth Perkins as Mrs. Walker is nowhere as effective as Maureen O’Hara’s performance. However, Dylan McDermott brings a hound-dog sensitivity that was sorely lacking in John Payne’s counterpart performance, and dare I say it, but Mara Wilson (Matilda) tops Natalie Wood’s performance with a more multi-layered interpretation which brings depths of emotion to the part.
Wisely sticking to the original script, the major changes made by Hughes generally improve the plot flow and dramatic structure of the story. Instead of Macy’s and Gimbel’s, we have Cole’s (the traditional, Gothic department store that maintains both eloquence and higherprices, but a store in deep financial trouble with the banks) and the nouveau Shopper’s Express (cheaper prices and convenience) whose owner hopes to buy out the struggling Cole’s once they fall even further on their financial faces. Unlike the good-natured rivalry in the original, here Victor Lambert (of Express) will never pose in the same shot with C.F. Cole (William Windom). Lambert is a corporate cutthroat.
Gone from the new screenplay are dime-store psychiatrist Mr. Sawyer (so there’s no need to have the battle of the dueling psychiatrists) and the youthful Alvin.Even though Dorey Walker (Perkins) and Bryan Bedford (Dylan McDermott) get together almost immediately, their relationship takes longer to solidify into love. In fact, Walker flat out rejects Bedford’s romantic marriage proposal by not accepting his diamond ring. Bryan states, “I put my faith in you,” to which Dorey responds coldly, “If that’s true, then you’re a fool!” However, the viewer knows that by picture’s end love will win out. Susan makes the scenario clear at Thanksgiving dinner where she tells Dorey and Bryan that “this is just like television.” She then pictures Bryan as the dad, Dorey as the mom and “then we’d need akind old fat person to be the cook...” She also envisions a little brother as well to complete her idyllic household. However, all is not well in the household: Dorey has been abandoned by her husband since the birth of Susan, and she again makes very sure that Susan is not distracted by confusing childhood myths. As sad-faced Susan tells Bryan, “Santa Claus... I’ve known for a long time... he’s not real!”
However, Natalie Wood’s character was convinced and totally believed everything her mother told her in the 1947 original; here Mara Wilson, obedient to her mom, still retainsobjectivity toward the subject, and her mother supports her by telling her she has the right to believe in anything she wishes. Susan pleads, “Is it okay to think about this a little more?” And her mother says yes and encourages her to ask Mr. Kringle for a very special Christmas present that the child would never ask her mother for, as a test.
While the Macy’s drunken Santa Claus is never seen again after he is replaced by Edmund Gwenn in the original, the drunken Santa in the remake plays a larger and much more significant role. A few days before Christmas all the dime-store Santas are lined up at the local bar, including former Cole’s Santa Tony (Jack McGee). Jack Duff (James Remar), second in command at Shopper’s Express, hires Tony to first taunt Kringle at Cole’s, trying to expose him as a phony to the children, and finally, hires Tony for the ultimate setup. After hours as Kriss Kringle leaves Cole’s for his walk home, Tony sneaks up behind him and verbally abuses the old man by calling him a mental case, a savvy old cripple, and worst of all, accuses him of having “a thing for the little ones.” With that barb, Kringle turns and smacks Tony with a cane, the washed-up Santa falling to the ground, as instructed. Immediately entering the scene is Jack Duff, his assistant and a photographer who snaps a picture. Of course they loudly shout to Kriss, aren’t you Cole’s Santa, and the eyes of the crowddraw inward with disappointment. Kriss, taken off by the police to Bellevue Hospital, again purposely fails his mental exam, stating he has disgraced himself. The plot contrivance here is dramatically much more sound and believable than the original.
At the sanity hearing, the trial proceeds in pretty much the same way, with Judge Harper (Robert Prosky) still a political animal who wants to get out of this case unscathed. The prosecutor Ed Collins (J.T. Walsh) once again faces his wife on the stand, who reveals that Collins teaches his children to believe that Kriss Kringle is indeed Santa. Instead of all the cards and letters being delivered to the courtroom at picture’s end (which was a dramatic strength of the original), here the judge is able to declare Kriss Kringle as Santa because of a Christmas card personally delivered to the judge in court by Susan. Inside the card is a one dollar bill with “In God We Trust” circled. Harper quickly states that since the people are behind the government, and since government currency trusts in God without any actual proof of his existence, then, well, the people’swill also stands behind Santa Claus. Case dismissed. Truthfully, this resolution lacks the punch and power of the original, and, to be honest, isn’t even that convincing.
As with the original, the film ends with Kriss Kringle delivering his present to young Susan. Susan’s wish was that she would get a daddy and baby brother and live in the dream home which Cole’s uses as a backdrop for its Christmas catalogue. First, thanks to Dorey’s insistence that Cole’s stand behind Kriss during his sanity hearing, and now winning the case, having their Santa Claus vindicated, Dorey is rewarded with a substantial Christmas bonus, allowing her to put money down on the house (which is conveniently for sale). Kringle, using trickery, invites both Dorey and Bryan to St. Francis Church after Christmas Eve services with the priest prepared to marry them on the spot. This time Dorey cannot say no. Finally, as the proud parents announce this news to Dorey, Susan is all smiles and quietly declares, “Guess there’s no doubt about it-he’s real!” To which the confused parents then ask, “What else did you ask Mr. Kringle for?” When she sputters out a little brother, both parents look at each other in great concern,then melt into smiles as the film fades to the credits.
This Miracle on 34th Street is no classic, as cookie-cutter remakes seldom are. And the film is weakened by a listless Attenborough performance as Kriss Kringle which lacks the heart and passion of Gwenn’s original, but McDermott’s and Wilson’s performances, and their emotional connections, spark the movie into rising above the standard movie retread. Mara Wilson is simply so cute, and the perky, enthusiastic little kid lurking beneath the polite and well-mannered six-year-old who “talks like she’s 64” really wins the audience’s sensibilities over quickly. Some of the plot changes actually work to the betterment of the movie, especially those sequences depicting the increased friction between rival department stores and the added scenes showing the revenge of the drunken Santa. The way in which the young child at first quietly doubts her mother’s statement that Santa Claus does not really exist and the manner in which she is systematically convinced simply works better here.Miracle on 34th Street (1947) is the real deal, and while the 1994 remake is doomed to be forgotten in remake Purgatory, it still has enough merits to make it worth viewing and enjoying.
Miracle on 34th Street
Cast: Jane Alexander, David Hartman, Roddy McDowall, Sebastian Cabot, Suzanne Davidson
Credits: Producer: Norman Rosenmont; Director: Fielder Cook; Writer: Jeb Rosebrook; 20th Century-Fox; 1973
Television remake of the 1947 classic. You’re much better off renting the original or 1994 remake.
Mixed Nuts
Cast: Steve Martin, Madeline Kahn, Adam Sandler, Rita Wilson, Robert Klein
Credits: Producers: Tony Thomas, Paul Junger Witt and Joseph Hartwick; Director/Writer: Nora Ephron; TriStar; 1994
Sometimes Christmas films can be so totally outrageous that one wonders why the plot has been linked to the Christmas season at all. Mixed Nuts, a remake of the 1982 French film Le Pere Noel est une Ordure, rewritten by Nora and Delia Ephron and directed by Nora Ephron, is the quirkiest mainstream Hollywood movie included in this book. By the film’s conclusion, the Yuletide spirit has enveloped its cast of oddball characters, but, mostly, Mixed Nuts is more an excuse to offer black comedy and dementedvisual gags amid a Christmas Eve setting. Fortunately, in sections, the film is hilarious and truly inspired; however, overall, the jaded Christmas film misfires more often than hitting the bullseye.
More than creating a plot, Mixed Nuts establishes distinct characters who interact in numerous comic situations, at first separately in small groups, but by the movie’s end, all these dementos are brought together to interact as one large ensemble of goofy people.
The movie begins on a rather traditional note, as visual images of Christmas (two rollerbladers carrying a Christmas tree, a person wearing a Frosty the Snowman outfit on skates, visions of Christmas trees, a large group of children dressed as angels, etc.) are pictured amidst the musical background of “White Christmas.”
Then the mood is disrupted by a young man wearing a Santa Claus outfit, running out of a store, as his young pregnant lover screams at him:
“You don’t deserve to be the father of my child.” Charging out of the store, the young man, Felix (Anthony LaPaglia), rams into two rollerbladers carrying a Christmas tree, knocking it to the ground. “You jerk, you ruined our tree. It was perfectly symmetrical!” Coming onto the scene is good Samaritan Phillip (Steve Martin), who operates a telephone crisis hot-line called Lifesavers, and who tries to be peacemaker. “It’s Christmas, it was an accident. Why can’t we all show a little Christmas spirit here.” With that a fight breaks out with the rollerbladers fleeing, leaving their tree behind. Phillip picks up the tree to help decorate the Lifesavers office, in actuality, his own personal apartment. On the way up to the “office,” the landlord Stanley (Gary Shandling) serves Phillip with an eviction notice for first of the year. He owes$5,000 rent.
To keep the bad news from his two employees Mrs. Munchnik (Madeline Kahn) and Catherine (Rita Wilson), Phillip tries to wear a happy face. Mrs. Munchnik takes her telephone counselor skills very seriously and her self-absorbed attitude only annoys the others. Catherine, a mousy woman who lives at home with her mother, is depressed that she will never find true love, and seems more like the person who would make the phone call to Lifesavers than the counselor on the other end. Catherine is terrified of becoming a victim of the Seaside Strangler, a local serial killer who murders women by choking them with fishing line.
Back at the little shop, very pregnant and gun-toting Gracie (Juliette Lewis) opens up the front door to find her ex-boyfriend Felix still wearing the Santa suit. She explains she uses the gun as protection from the Seaside Strangler. Gracie is still angry at Felix, who she tells could have sold his Santa suit for a car seat for the baby, but Felix reminds her he doesn’t own a car! Then Felix counters by complaining that if Gracie hadn’t cut up all his clothes, he could afford to sell his Santa suit. Her excuse-she was angry at Felix. Claiming she wants to meet a businessman and not “a loser,” Gracie wants to break up once and for all; Felix protests he is not a loser but a wall painter (as in graffiti artist) who will make good.On Christmas Eve, the Lifesavers don’t seem very sympathetic. They complain that on such an emotional holiday, the phone lines shouldn’t be so quiet, that they should be hearing from people thinking of jumping out of windows or slitting their wrists. The most unsympathetic is Mrs. Munchnik. When a desperate caller states, “I’m at the end of my rope and I want to die,” Munchnik replies she hears too much static, then proceeds to click on the receiver button, disconnecting an unpleasant call. Phillip chimes in, “If they’re really upset, they’ll phone back,” but after staring at the phone, which never rings, they move on.
Later, Lifesavers gets a call from a deep-voiced man, actually a transsexual, who wants their address so he can stop by. Citing the rules, that they are not allowed to give out anaddress, Phillip momentarily slips and blurts out the street address, regretting the action immediately. At home, the poor transsexual, Chris (Liev Schreiber), is being taunted by his family, who are all standing around the living room decorating the tree. The family refers to Chris as Arnold Schwarzenegger; the depressed young man yells he hates being called that, so his entire family joins in a chorus of “Arnold! Arnold!” as the dejected Chris runs out of his home.
Catherine, secretly in love with Phillip, describes her loneliness in symbolic terms. She says she went to the supermarket, where everyone was buying turkeys, and as she stood in the “10 items and under” line (apparently, single people do not buy much food), she noticed that she was the only one buying a chicken breast. She is depressed that for the tenth year in a row she has nothing to do for New Year’s Eve. But as the always optimistic Phillip reminds her, “In every pothole there is hope,” something his father told him a day or so before walking out the front door and being run over by a truck selling mixed nuts.As these vignettes continue, Chris the transsexual arrives at Lifesavers. The phone rings and the daily pervert calls asking, as always, to speak to a woman, always ready to bombard Catherine or Mrs. Munchnik with vivid obscenities. This time Chris answers, “You are speaking to a woman,” and the pervert immediately clicks off. When Phillip returns, shocked that his mystery voice on the phone turns out to be a man dressed in woman’s clothing, he listens patiently, as trained, to what he/she has to say. Chris finally admits, “I bore everyone!” when Phillip chimes back, “I personally find you very entertaining and informative-perhaps you could come back after the New Year...” Finally, Phillip tells Chris that he didn’t have confidence in himself until he entered a mambo contest in 1968 and won, thinking this would be the perfect way to get Chris to leave, but instead the man beams, “Do you have music?” Pretty soon the two are dancing around the apartment, with Mrs. Munchnik coming to after fainting, observing the insanity, and simply stating, “I’m suing you!” Chris rubs Phillip’s butt which causes the shocked but polite therapist to extend his rear as far back as possible. However, when Chris lifts andtosses Phillip up in the air, this becomes the final straw. Phillip blurts out, pointing his finger, “This is insane. This is all I do all day is deal with nuts like you!” Demoralizing the suddenly happy dancer, Phillip tries to apologize and says, “In person I’m a disaster.” Chris, trying to regain his dignity, exits.
During the climax, the entire family of mixed nuts all converge at Lifesavers, with the exception of Mrs. Munchnik who is attempting to drive away from Phillip, first calling Triple A to fix her car, which won’t start, and then getting her windshield smashed when Phillip unknowingly throws a can of fruitcake out his office window, making a direct hit. However, things look up for the woman when a neighbor with three dogs, Mr. Lobel (Robert Klein), comes to her aid and she seduces the willing gentleman on the beach. Back inside, the feuding Gracie and Felix enter, he pointing a gun at everyone. Chris also returns saying, “The crazy person is back,” claiming he forget his cape. Chris bravely stands up to Felix, hitting him over the head with his pillow, which explodes everywhere. They both struggle over the gun, but the pistol discharges and Chris isnicked in the foot, although his screams seem to indicate a slow, painful, bloody death. The irate Gracie grabs the gun, stating they have to get rid of all the bullets, which she does by firing the gun haphazardly, afterwards noting that someone is leaning on the door bell buzzer with two distinct bullet holes fired through the front door. Slowly approaching the door, the buzzer still sounding, Phillip finds that landlord Stanley has been shot in the head, and he falls forward, inside the apartment, dead.
Catherine starts to hyperventilate and Phillip runs bath water for her, propping her up on the edge of the tub. The sexually charged woman seductively asks Phillip to undress her for the bath as both of them admit their passion to one another and fall to the cold bathroom floor, alongside the toilet.
The group wonders what to do with Stanley’s corpse. They decide to put the body in a burlap bag and use Super Glue to disguise him as a Christmas tree, and plan to carry him out to the boardwalk, set him up and leave, just another neglected holiday decoration. Phillip, in disgust, says that in the six years that Lifesavers has been operating, they have nothing to show for it except one dead body. The entire group carries the tree outside, all acting cheerful and singing “tis the season to be jolly.” However, Mrs. Munchnik and Lobel have finished on the beach, and his dogs begin sniffing the human Christmas tree out in the middle of the boardwalk. Now the same rollerbladers from the beginning of the movie return shouting, “Your tree is history.” The rollerbladers strike the tree, sending it up into the air, branches flying everywhere. A crowd of people, including the police, gather as the tree hits ground, now looking more like a corpse than the spirit of Christmas. Felix, now with the gun, admits to the crime, and climbs up the side of the building near a neon sign of Santa and his sleigh. Still wearing his Santa Claus outfit, Felix points a gun to his head stating he will blow his brains out. Children begin to gather. Everyone yells up that the murder was an accident and that Felix should not worry, but he states he served time in prison and “I don’t have faith in the criminal justice system.”Then in a faith-renewing experience, the downtrodden Phillip, using his best Lifesavers training, successfully talks Felix down asking, “Don’t you wish to spend Christmas with your baby?” Speaking from the heart, Phillip tells Felix that today started out to be the worst day of his life, with the eviction notice and $5,000 bill, “But then something wonderful happened... there’s magic in Christmas... if you come down, you’ll find that out.” Gracie yells, “I love you Felix,” and when the pistol-packin’ Santa does in turn come down, Phillip realizes he is not always a disaster in person. Finally, checking Stanley’s bag, the police come over to congratulate the group, “You have killed the Seaside Strangler,” claiming all the fish net paraphernalia was located there. Gracie will get the $250,000 reward, enough to give Phillip the $5,000 he needs. The magic of Christmas. The pregnant woman, jumping up and down from joy, finds her water breaks and she goes into labor, delivering her child under a Christmas tree in the town square. Midnight strikes, Phillip wishes everyone Merry Christmas and Felix proposes marriage to Gracie. “This is the miracle,” he smiles. Soon Felix is ringing his Santa bell, as the movieends with all the characters appearing as a wall painting signed “By Felix” as the credits roll up.
This last sequence certainly does attest to the healing and renewing powers of Christmas, demonstrating the movie’s late theme that there’s magic in Christmas. The fact is that an accidental murder is turned into congratulatory slaps on the back and $250,000 reward money travels far beyond reason and believability, but it does illustrate how everything can turn out when filtered through the spirit of Christmas. This huggy-feely change in fortune seems to be the only excuse for making Mixed Nuts a Christmas movie. It is dark and even mean-spirited especially in scenes where trained therapists hang up the phone on desperate people with life-or-death needs. Even Phillip early-on seems slightly callous, burned out and sick of trying to help people. Of course, he too is renewed and finds his life’s work can be successful and that he is not bound to be a failure counseling people. However, not all the characters seem properly motivated nor even real in this black comedy that only seems to spring to life within the final half hourwhere the joy of Christmas heals all the ugly wounds inflicted upon the audience during the first hour. It is wonderful to know that Felix and Gracie declare their love for one another before the reward money is mentioned, and it is nice to know that Felix can be successful as an artist by the movie’s end, but this sudden transformation from being one of the most dysfunctional couples ever to fall in love seems momentary and tentative, as if the entire relationship could explode within seconds. Besides, with Gracie giving birth to his son in the public square, how could Felix act any differently. Mixed Nuts tries to show how dysfunctional people can come together and help heal one another, all in the spirit of “peace on Earth” and “Ho! Ho!! Ho!!!” Too bad the first hour wasn’t as emotionally engaging as the final 30 minutes!
A Mom for Christmas
Cast: Olivia Newton-John, Juliet Sorcey, Doug Sheehan, Doris Roberts
Credits: Director: George Miller; Writer: Gerald De Pego; Based on the Novel by Barbara Dillon; TV, 1990
A young girl, whose mother died when she was three, wishes for a mother for Christmas. Her wish is granted when a department store mannequin comes to life.
Mothertime
Cast: Sheila Allen, Anthony Andrews, Felix Bell, Rosalind Bennett, Faith Brook
Credits: Director: Matthew Jacobs, Writer: Gillian White; Based on the Novel by Peter Hannan; TV, 1997Children lock their mother in a basement sauna over Christmas to try to stop her drinking. They have to keep this from their father and the cleaning lady.
Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol
Cast: (voice) Jim Backus
Credits: Director: Abe Levitow; Television; 1962
Mr. Magoo appears as himself and stars in a stage version of A Christmas Carol. This format allows Mr. Magoo to engage in his famous pratfalls before and after performing the play, but keeps the story of A Christmas Carol intact with no comicinterruptions.
Mr. Soft Touch
Cast: Glenn Ford, Evelyn Keyes, John Ireland, Beulah Bondi, Percy Kilbride
Credits: Producer: Milton Holmes; Directors: Henry Levin and Gordon Douglas; Writer: Orin Jannings (Based on a Story by Milton Holmes); Columbia; 1949
Ford plays a gambler seeking shelter in a settlement house during Christmas. Evelyn Keyes, mistaking Ford for a wife abuser,tries to reform him, falling in love with him in the process. This is another rare film and was unavailable for screening.
Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree
Cast: Robert Downey, Jr., Leslie Nielsen, Stockard Channing
Credits: Producer: Ritamarie Peruggi; Director: Jon Stone; Writer: Mitchell Kriegman (Based on the Book by Robert Barry); Jim Henson Productions; 1995
Sweet Christmas special with adorable Muppets, especially a mouse family celebrating Christmas and their quest for a Christmas tree.
Mrs. Santa Claus
Cast: Angela Lansbury, Charles Durning, Lynsey Bartilson, Terrence Mann, Rosalind Harris
Credits: Producer: J. Boyce Harman, Jr.; Director: Terry Hughes; Writer: Mark Saltzman; Hallmark Home Entertainment; 1996
If ever a movie had Christmas written all over it, it is Mrs. Santa Claus. After a long dry spell for musical fans, Hallmark debuted a truly old-fashioned confection complete with hummable songs by Jerry Herman, sparkling choreography by Rob Marshall, stylish costumes by Bob Mackie and sprightly performances by a cast of talented newcomers as well as movie veterans. The film is filled with snow-covered streets, evergreen-draped mantels and enough Christmas spirit to choke Scrooge. Even the names during the opening title sequence have sprigs of holly underneath.Angela Lansbury stars as the title character, a feisty Mrs. Claus who’s a little down in the dumps because Santa (Charles Durning) is so preoccupied with the fast approaching Christmas Eve. She wants to help read the mail, but Santa refuses saying it is addressed to him. She lovingly wraps a scarf around his neck and says, “Well, if you don’t need me...” Since Santa barely hears her when she tells him she has worked out a faster route, she decides to try it herself. Mrs. Claus has head elf Arvo (Michael Jeter) hitch up the reindeer and with eager anticipation takes off.
Unfortunately bad weather grounds them in 1910 New York and Cupid hurts his leg on the landing. She finds a stable and with the help of Marcello (David Norona) boards the deer so Cupid can rest. Like Dorothy opening the door of her house into the colorful land of Oz, Marcello throws open the large stable doors and allows Mrs. Claus (or Mrs. North as she introduces herself) to enter the bustling world of Avenue A.The Avenue is a virtual melting pot and a musical number, “Avenue A,” uses this multiculturalism to good advantage as the audience is led though a dazzling musical interlude worthy of the Broadway stage. We begin with a young boy tap dancing on a crate then on to saloon girls kicking up their heels on a bar. A Jewish celebration is the next stop and finally an exuberant wedding party dancing in the street is visited. All join together for the toe-tapping finale.
Marcello is taking Mrs. Claus to Mrs. Lowenstein’s boarding house and confesses her daughter Sadie (Debra Wiseman) is the apple of his eye. Sadie is a crusading suffragist who has little time to notice things, especially Marcello.
Mrs. Claus explains to the kindly Mrs. Lowenstein that she can’t pay, but the sweet woman tells her, “A fine lady like you. You’ll get a job, you’ll pay me when you can.”
They are interrupted by Officer Doyle (Brian Murphy) chasing hellion Nora Kelly (Lynsey Bartilson). Officer Doyle asks Mrs. Lowenstein to tell Nora’s father to keep herunder control. Mrs. Lowenstein has a deep fear of authority and is afraid the police are going to throw them out of the country because of Sadie. She keeps a suitcase full of her precious mementos, including a single candlestick from her mother, packed just in case.
Mrs. Claus hides Nora from Officer Doyle and the grateful girl explains that her mother and baby brother are in Ireland. Her father works double shifts so he can make enough money to bring them over. Nora has a job too, at the Tavish Toy Company. She offers to get Mrs. Claus a job there. A toy factory! The perfect place for Mrs. Santa Claus to find a job. But this is not a perfect place. It’s a children’s sweat shop, a hellhole run by Mr. Tavish (Terrence Mann) whose motto is, “It only has to last until Christmas.”
He introduces Mrs. Claus (as Mrs. North) and says, “Now my little elves, I do not want a repeat of what happened to the last supervisor.” It seems the last supervisor took a little trip, courtesy of one young worker’s foot.The children are from all cultures and look with suspicion upon the newcomer. Mrs. Claus reassures the children with a song “I’m Almost Young” charmingly sung and danced by Lansbury with the children.
She tells Mr. Tavish the children need heat and the toys are defective. She holds out a teddy bear to him and he recoils in horror, refusing her requests.
Meanwhile, Arvo makes Santa his cocoa and has to face Santa when he realizes Mrs. Claus is gone. Arvo bravely speaks up, “You didn’t even notice she was gone!” She has been gone for two days and Santa just noticed. The poor man feels terribly guilty and worries about Mrs. Claus being helpless and alone. But Mrs. Claus is having the time of her life. She visits a thrift shop and picks up some stylish new clothes and goes about making friends and nudging relationships along on Avenue A.
Sadie gives her advice about helping the children via a work slowdown, and she counsels Sadie (known as Soapbox Sadie) on how to win over the local women to her cause.Mrs. Claus helps her convince the women they deserve the vote as well as their husbands do and the two are joined by the local women, Marcello and Nora, as they march to a rally. They sing as they march down the street. Mrs. Claus notes, “But beyond the vote men must acknowledge what we do in little ways every day.”
It is three days until Christmas Eve. Marcello gathers the courage to ask Sadie to the Policeman’s Christmas Eve dance. They duet on a song called “We Don’t Go Together at All,” an irresistible teaming that only adds depth of character to the two likable youngsters.
Nora sneaks Mrs. Claus into a vaudeville show. The two are tossed out into the back alley and find trunks and racks of costumes. They sing and dance to “Whistle,” frolicking about with various frills taken from the racks and trunks. Lynsey Bartilson holds her own with Broadway vet Lansbury, and the two make an engaging pair.
Mrs. Claus buys two tickets for the dance and asks Officer Doyle to personally deliver one to Mrs. Lowenstein. Officer Doyle turns out to be quite charming, and the oncefrightened Mrs. Lowenstein decides to attend the dance.
The children at the factory join Mrs. Claus in the work slowdown; but, when Tavish threatens them with work on Christmas day, they rat on Mrs. Claus and both she and Nora are fired. But Mrs. Claus goes down the chimney of the factory, lets Nora in, and they organize the children in a strike. They cover the city with signs telling everyone not to buy Tavish toys because they are poorly constructed and made by suffering little children. Even the mayor gets involved; the story makes front page news, much to the chagrin of Mr. Tavish.
Christmas Eve is finally here. Mrs. Lowenstein, realizing she is safe, unpacks her precious bag. She gives Mrs. Claus a beautiful red dress that she has made for a customer who changed her mind. At the dance Marcello tells her Cupid is healed and can travel.Sadie toasts Mrs. Claus who has helped with the suffrage movement and child labor laws. “What you’ve really been is our Santa Claus.” “Mrs. Santa Claus,” Nora adds.
Mrs. Claus sadly watches couples dance and misses Santa very much. She goes onto a balcony, a brilliant red stole covers her hair and shoulders as she sings “He Needs Me.” Mrs. Claus says good-bye to Nora and heads to the stable for the sleigh and reindeer. But they are gone!
Tavish steps from behind the sleigh. “Missing something Mrs. North? Or should I say Mrs. Claus?” he asks in a gleefully sinister tone.
Tavish realized she really is Mrs. Claus and he had hidden the reindeer to ruin everyone’s Christmas. But Mrs. Claus remembers 1872 and a young Augie Tavish getting a special teddy bear. He tells her his step-brother stole his bear; and, ever since, he wants to ruin Christmas for everyone just as his was ruined those many years ago. Mrs. Claus gives him a duplicate of that teddy bear telling him, “It’s not the gift, it’s the love behind it.” The old grump is now as happy as a little boy and leads Mrs. Claus to the reindeer.
Santa is dressed and anxiously awaiting Mrs. Claus’ return. She finally arrives and he tells her to close her eyes. She is astonished to find he has a beautifully red fur-trimmed coat ready for her, and he’s even going to use her new route.
“Merry Christmas, Anna.”
“Merry Christmas, Nicky.”
Together they set off to deliver Christmas presents to children all over the world.
Mrs. Lowenstein finds a matching candlestick in her stocking; and Nora answers a knock at the door to find her father, mother and baby brother there. It truly is a merry Christmas for everyone.
This film is absolutely one of the nicest surprises of the 1996 television season. After the musical film had pretty much disappeared into oblivion, only occasionally popping up in darker forms such as Cabaret and All That Jazz, it is wonderful to find a musical that manages to tackle social issues but still remain light-hearted fun. Much of this is due to the score by Jerry Herman, whose work includes the catchy tunes of Mame, Hello, Dolly! and La Cage Aux Folles. Also, much credit should go to screenwriter Mark Saltzman who wrote the screenplay for the family film The Adventures of Milo and Otis. The outstanding costumes were provided by renowned designer Bob Mackie, whose clothes adorned Cher and Carol Burnett during their television heyday.
Director Terry Hughes follows a film musical tradition by shooting the film as a stage play, leaving the audience to feel they are actually watching a Broadway production.
Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Claus has never been more likable, and that’s saying something considering her beloved Jessica Fletcher character from Murder, She Wrote. Lansbury is a versatile performer whose career has spanned films, Broadway and television. In her younger days, she was often cast as the bitter ex-wife or old girlfriend; she overcame that stereotyping to become one of today’s most beloved stars.
Newcomers Norona, Wiseman and Bartilson are destined for big careers on Broadway if their performances in Mrs. Santa Claus are any indication. Their characters have a sweet charisma and pleasing singing voices. Terrence Mann, a Tim Curry look-alike who appeared as Tavish, played Larry in the film version of A Chorus Line. Charles Durning makes a wonderful Santa and, as usual with all his screen roles, tackles the part with a twinkle in his eye. Durning is also a veteran of musicals and had many sparkling moments as the Governor in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas with Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds. He should be quite familiar with the jolly old elf, having portrayed him in quite a few television holiday movies.
Mrs. Santa Claus can proudly take its place in the small list of truly classic Christmas films alongside movies such as A Christmas Story, It’s A Wonderful Life and White Christmas. The only people who might not enjoy it are those who go about saying “Bah Humbug” during the holidays.
Ms. Scrooge
Cast: Cicely Tyson, Katherine Helmond, Michael Beach, John Bourgeois
Credits: Director: John Korty; Writer: John McGreevey; Based on : A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens; TV, 1997
Another version of A Christmas Carol offers the incredible Cicely Tyson in the leading role as a bitter businesswoman who is given another chance from visits of the Christmas spirits.
A Muppet Christmas Carol
Cast: Michael Caine, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire
Credits; Producers: Brian Henson and Martin G. Baker; Director: Brian Henson; Writer: Jerry Juhl; Buena Vista; 1992
Of all the major feature versions of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol covered in this volume, A Muppet Christmas Carol is the weakest. Again the puppetry and Muppet-populated London cityscape is a marvel to behold, and the human actors are integrated quite seamlessly, but the spirit of the story never intensifies nor generates sparks. Most of the blame for the film’s failures should be placed squarely on the shoulder of Michael Caine, who portrays Ebenezer Scrooge, one of the most lethargic portrayals the screen has ever seen. Since the story rises or falls based upon the strength of the interpretation of the Scrooge character, this Muppet feature is doomed.
Another failing of the movie is the insistence on the silly banter and physical slapstick occurring between narrators Rizzo the Rat and Charles Dickens (The Great Gonzo), often creating a tone that undermines the mood of the dominant action on screen. Even though this feature is geared toward youngsters, its acting and songs (written by Paul Williams, who here submits a slew of generic, forgettable lyrics and melodies) are so mediocre that the film doesn’t stand a chance. Too many long, boring stretches of songs dominate.
The opening setpiece, featuring all the Muppet citizens preparing for Christmas with Rizzo and Dickens selling apples on a street corner, is quite splashy and sets just the right tone. As the narrators tell us, we meet Mr. Scrooge as he comes around the street corner, of course introduced with a song. “When a cold wind blows, it chills you to the bone,” the song cautions. Telling us Scrooge is “solitary like an oyster,” the man is further described as “he loves his money because he believes it gives him power.” Disappearing into his office building, Dickens uses Rizzo to wipe the dirty window clean so we too can peep inside.
There we learn that Scrooge is a moneylender and that his chief job is collecting mortgage payments and evicting those who fail to pay on time. Poor Mr. Applegate implores, “But it’s Christmas,” but he is quite literally thrown out of the office. Scrooge, working with Bob Cratchit (Kermit the Frog) and an entire office of bookkeepers, tells Cratchit, “Let’s deal with eviction notices for tomorrow.” Cratchit, surprised, reminds his employer that it’s Christmas. Scrooge yells, “You may gift wrap them!” Scrooge, as it turns out, loves the month of December because people waste money on frivolities so foreclosures are up. Of course, when the office workers, using Cratchit as their spokesperson, ask for more coal, they are threatened with the unemployment line. Fred enters and goes through the regular routine trying to instill some holiday cheer into his uncle, but fails. Telling his uncle he married because he fell in love, Scrooge laughs and says, “That’s the only thing sillier than wishing someone a Merry Christmas!” Of course the two gentlemen collecting for charity are turned down in typical fashion. When Cratchit mentions about tomorrow being Christmas Day, Scrooge tells him to report by 8:30 instead of 8, but when Cratchit reminds the miser that all businesses are closed tomorrow, that he won’t have anyone to do business with, Scrooge begrudgingly allows him the entire day off.
Surprisingly, in this version of the story, Scrooge is the first person to leave the office, leaving Cratchit in charge of having everyone close up, of course to a generic song. “Faith is in our hearts today, shining like the sun... there’s only one more sleep ’til Christmas.” Leaving the office, Cratchit notices the Penguin Christmas Skating Party and takes a long slide on the ice.
Scrooge returns home and eats his meal by the fire. Soon the fire dies down as the servant bell starts to ring, for no apparent reason. Instead of just one ghost, we have the Statler and Waldorf Muppets portraying Jacob and Robert Marley, wearing their usual matching set of chains, floating in air. Interestingly, as Scrooge enters his line about this vision being “more gravy than of the grave,” the Marley brothers note the pun advising Scrooge to “leave the humor alone.” They too get their message across via song: “We’re avarice and greed... freedom comes from killing love, prison comes with hate.” And they are delighted when they remind one another of the time they evicted the entire orphanage. They warn Scrooge, who momentarily wears a set of chains himself, “Your future is a horror story written by your crimes.”
The Ghost of Christmas Past, a wondrous, angelic Muppet child dressed in white, her face also glowing, awakens Scrooge from his sound sleep with a sudden burst of blazing light. Cleverly, as the Spirit and Scrooge make their voyage, Rizzo ties a rope to Scrooge so they get carried along too, Rizzo yelling, “Good-bye lunch!” as they are spirited away. However, as the Spirit opens up the gateway to the past, with Scrooge flying above a forest of snow-covered trees, we hear the “oohs” and “aaaahs” of the Muppet narrators being banged and bruised while hitting trees underneath. Such an overly slapstick moment ruins the nostalgic remembrance which the scene is obviously attempting to create. “This was the worst trip of my life,” Rizzo comments, until he comes to a stop on solid ground and is chased by a cat. Scrooge reflects upon his old school, his old friends who left him alone during Christmas holiday, and his attempt to read and study while stranded at school. Several years pass, and we see a slighter older Scrooge still alone in the classroom, now being advised to enter the world of business by his Headmaster. “It’s the American way,” the Headmaster rants until Rizzo whispers in his ear and he corrects himself, “It’s the British way!”
The next stop is the annual Fozziwig (Fozzie Bear) office Christmas party, a very festive sight to see. Scrooge describes his first boss as being “hard and ruthless as a rose petal.” A young Master Scrooge interrupts the festivities to remind Fozziwig that too much money is spent for the party. As a Dixieland Muppet Band (?) performs, Scrooge meets Belle at the party, and meets her again years later, as the blooming relationship wilts on the vine. Belle wishes Scrooge to marry her, but he tells her business hasn’t been good, investments haven’t turned out as well as planned. He says he loves her, but she corrects him, “You loved me once.” Then she sings a bland song: “When love is gone... the love is gone... the sweetest dream that we have known... I wish you well.”
No mention is made of the bitter father who refuses to allow his son to visit, nor are the sequences with younger sister Fan shown, creating a parallel relationship.
The second Spirit is a huge Muppet mountain of a man, with cheery round face and wild red hair. The jolly man goes outside with Scrooge, showing him the city and how it celebrates Christmas. In song, “Whenever you find love, it feels like Christmas.” By the song’s end Scrooge is actually starting to smile, his transformation coming much too early, as snow begins to fall. “Spirit, I had no idea... show me family and friends.” Then off they go to Fred’s house for his Christmas celebration, people playing the game of “Yes or No.” Fred’s secret name is Scrooge, described as an “unwanted creature” not a “rat, leech or cockroach.” Then onto Bob Cratchit’s house where he leads the family in a toast to the “founder of the feast.” Several songs create an overt maudlin relationship between Tiny Tim and father Bob and the joy of family life at home. “No place on Earth compares with home... let us always love each another.” This second Spirit almost finished, his face now aging and his hair turning white, Scrooge confesses, “You’ve meant so much to me, you changed me...” but the Spirit vanishes. Once again, Scrooge has never been more than a tad grumpy, so his epiphany is not dramatically feasible.
The third Spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Be, is another fabulous grim reaper Muppet, his face obscured in dark shadow, introduced by way of billowing fog creepily moving in upon the scene. Dickens and Rizzo feel this visit is too scary so they tell us they will join us later, “Folks, you’re on your own.” Of course we have the expected visits to the men of business, who mention they won’t go to the funeral unless lunch is served. The servants still try to sell the dead man’s curtains and blanket-“still warm.” They travel to Bob Cratchit’s house, a dead silence lingering, Mrs. Cratchit (Miss Piggy) making excuses to the children for her tears. The grieving but peaceful Bob Cratchit comes home and speaks of the dead Tiny Tim. Without doubt, this sequence is perhaps the shining moment of the film because both the mood and the acting are honest and played without humor or song. This sequence touches the heart because Kermit and Miss Piggy play the scene as pure emotion, never winking or sliding out of character. For one brief moment, director Brian Henson understands and has enough confidence that the children can take it. The sequence ends with a long, lingering shot of the side chair holding the fallen Tim’s cap, the little crutch leaning alongside. Returning to the graveyard, Scrooge confronts his own grave marker, clutching at the robe of the Spirit, but he wakens to find himself pulling on his own bed curtain.
Michael Caine’s failure at portraying Scrooge convincingly is now brought to the forefront. In the sequence when he awakens and registers the absolute joy that only a life’s renewal and turning-around could create, Scrooge merely tells us he is happy, but he fails to show it. No dive-bombing the bed as George C. Scott did, no bouncing and hopping across the room as Alastair Sim did. In fact, the reborn Scrooge is almost the same man as the nasty “bah humbug” Scrooge. There is little sense of a formerly decent man who descends into materialistic hell by loving money more than humanity and who, confronting his mistake, miraculously gets a second lease on life coming through here.
The film ends with Scrooge walking the city streets, stopping at houses such as nephew Fred’s, to wish people a Merry Christmas and give them presents. Scrooge finally arrives at the Cratchit house with the prize-winning turkey. Sitting around the dinner table, all the Muppets and Caine sing with lines of people reaching out into the streets, where it seems the entire London society joins them in song. Fittingly at the end, Rizzo tells Dickens, “good story.” But Mr. Dickens’ answer is brutally honest, “If you like this, you should read the book,” because the novel serves up a banquet of literary delights while this movie only offers a light snack.
My Side of the Mountain
Cast: Teddy Eccles, Theodore Bikel, Tudi Wiggins, Frank Perry, Peggi Loder
Credits: Producer: Robert B. Radnitz; Director: James B. Clark; Writers: Joanna Crawford, Jean George, Jane Klove and Ted Sherdeman; Paramount; 1969
A young boy leaves home and takes up residence in a hollowed-out tree to conduct experiments. He awakens Christmas day to find himself completely snowed in. He digs out with the help of a friend who talks the boy into returning home.
My Uncle Antoine
(Original title: Mon Oncle Antoine)
Cast: Jean Duceppe, Olivette Thibault, Claude Jutra, Jacques Gagnon
Credits: Producer: Marc Beaudet; Director: Claude Jutra; Writers: Cladue Jutra and Clement Perrone (Based on a Story by Perrone); Natl. Film Board of Canada, 1971
This multi-Canadian Academy Award–winning film has got to be one of the most depressing films ever made. The photography focusing on the stark poverty of a mining town is grim, the direction disjointed and the story disturbing. The film follows a day in the life of Benoit, a young boy working in his uncle Antoine’s dry goods store. On Christmas Eve they decorate the store, exchange goodwill with the local townspeople and are forced to pick up the body of a 15-year-old boy who has died. Antoine gets drunk and Benoit, driving the sleigh at a fast speed, loses the body. He leaves the pine box with the child’s body in it in the middle of the snow-covered road and drives his uncle home, where he finds his aunt fooling around with a store clerk. The father of the dead boy finds the body and the film closes as Benoit gazes into the window of the farmhouse as the family grieves. Unless you have a masochistic streak in you, don’t bother tracking this film down.
Mystery of Edwin Drood
Cast: Claude Rains, David Manners, Heather Angel, Valerie Hobson, E.E. Clive, Douglass Montgomery
Credits: Producer: Edmund Grainger; Director: Stuart Walker; Writers: Leopold Atlas, John L. Balderston, Bradley King and Gladys Unger; Universal; 1935
Dark tale based on the Charles Dickens uncompleted novel has Rains murdering his nephew on Christmas Eve.